A letter to my sister

When I saw Agshin on TV …

Hello sister.

I miss you very much. The way you used to compliment my smile, our talks, and how you’d warn me, “Zaur, do not be indulgent to everyone.”

Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. My mood has settled and I’m feeling calm. As you suggest, I’d like to write; but I think that first I have to write my autobiography and only then can I write about my vision. There are obvious reasons as to why I am not writing my autobiography but I have six years left in here, so I am thinking of starting sometime soon.

When I saw Agshin on TV I saw that he is badly ill with cirrhosis of the liver. A while before I went to prison, Agshin wrote something about young people, and to put it delicately, I criticized him. But all of that is meaningless now. It was odd to see him on TV in that state.

Sis, this illness is causing the demise of a real creative brain. You know why I am so sad? We are so few – even with Agshin and his generation’s group, and our small number of readers. But we will manage. We are the ones who can save this society from people who live their lives like automatons. But everything has its sacrifice, and now Agshin has sacrificed his liver.

Sister, although I have never spoken to him, if something happens to him, it will break me! I don’t want to talk about bad things; it is a hard topic for a person in jail. However, if you are in touch with him, would you let him know that in my 10 meter square cell I am with him in thought as much as possible. Unfortunately it is the only way I can be. I wish him a long life.

If I can’t write you again, don’t worry. I write this letter without hope of an answer – just the thought of you reading it is enough for me.

I send kisses to all our mutual friends and relatives; say hello to them from me.

I don’t know when, or in which circumstances, but we will definitely meet again. Look after yourself. I need you.

Your brother Zaur Gurbanlı

Kurdakhani Detention Center

ГлавнаяOp-edA letter to my sister