Down with the Maiden Tower and the Old City!

I propose to remove the Maiden Tower from the list of monuments of history and culture. Instead, it could be turned into a great mall.


First floor – boutiques. Second – boutiques.

And then restaurants. Up to the very tippity – top.

And if it doesn’t work out with the mall or boutiques, we can consider building other attractions.


In the worst case,

we can simply tear it down and build an amazingly beautiful building. With the biggest stained glass windows and golden bullion for a foundation.

I would also suggest removing the fortress of the Old City from the list of protected zones. First off, it is ruining the city landscape and contradicts our policy of tolerance. What is this senseless division between the inner city and the rest of it? Things don’t work like that here. Here, everyone is equal. No divisions, because divisions mean intolerance.

And we are tolerant.

And so, down with the fortress. Down with the Old City. Its walls have been sieged and attacked and then rebuilt again a hundred times. What difference will it make to do that one more time?


Furthermore, I propose to tear down the Wedding Palace.

Did you know, during its construction a worker fell off the roof, and died. So maybe you would like to reconsider registering your marriage in such a deadly place. Anyone who gets married here can’t possibly end up happily. So let’s destroy it.

And stick a good plaza in its place instead.


Let’s get rid of schools No. 189, 190 and the Bülbül School.

First off, there used to be a church where No. 189 stands now. And they took it down. Did anyone die? No, they didn’t. And they won’t now. What difference does it make if the school served as a hospital during World War II? To hell with history! They are sitting on prime real – estate locations. And we could build elite sky-scrapers in their place. And there’s prime parking in the area to boot.


And the budget is in need of money.

All in all, as a city dweller of Baku, I support the government’s policy of systematically destroying buildings that were built, for example, in 1885 or other historical periods. And I am ready to take a shovel and pitch in myself to join in the destroying of a building that was built only God knows when.

I am obliged to bring my friends into this affair. Including my Facebook friends. In case the latter will refuse, I am ready to remove them from my friends list.



The article is re-published from a private Facebook account and reflects the opinion of the author which might not coincide with that of Meydan TV.

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